The Good and the Bad

I made it to my day off!

After 16 straight days of 11-13 hr work days, a week of which was nights, I finally have a day off.

I'm all smiles and also fear. I've been hiding my bad habits recently behind being so busy because of work and it's just been so many excuses. Now with a whole day off, I feel the pressure to spend it in a way that's healthy and will make me feel organized and happy and ready to keep going with my life.

Update to last post: I did have a veggie sandwich later at night and it was nice and probably brought my intake up to 1300 for the day.

Then Thursday I didn't do so well -  totally binged again on chocolate and peanut butter and cereal. I had great intentions but I just keep hurting myself with crap food. And in the middle of the night I had way too many French fries and felt gross. 

Then today after I got home in the morning I ate a non-vegan pastry (well, probably) that someone had brought for lecture and it was not that good I was just hungry, and then my regularly planned oatmeal and then a couple bowls of cereal on top of it and I felt totally gross. Then I passed out for like 7 hours, had an apple at about 5 after I woke up - that I felt like was a good decision. Then my man came home and brought me Thai takeout and I made a good choice with that I think - I left half for leftovers. With that I had a couple little glasses of white wine and then made some hot chocolate and had a few handfuls of dry cereal.

So today wasn't all bad but there are things I would change. I would take out the pastry certainly - I know there's a problem when I'm choosing non-vegan things that I could easily leave. I also would have not eaten the cereal after oatmeal OR the handfuls in the evening. And I would have eaten slower and maybe eaten even less of the Thai because I was really full. In principle the hot chocolate I'm totally fine with, but I would have made about 2/3 the size - like 6oz instead of 10 oz. and also I probably didn't need it on a week like this when I've just been constantly eating crap for ages.

So right now I'm probably having more bad days than good days. I've been getting headaches every day. I don't know if it's sugar or caffeine or hydration or sleep or all of them but I'm not willing to keep living like this.

I have an idea of what I would like life to look like and I think it can but right now I'm not making the right lifestyle choices and it's definitely time to make a change.

I tried doing some yoga today but wasn't feeling that well. Still, my darling dog enjoyed the activity, she wouldn't stop getting all up in my space. :) She's great company. She always wants to be wherever you are.

So this was a post to talk myself into making some goals and really trying. Next post up: some lists and some plans and some goals :)

I so appreciate those of you who read and comment. Thank you for being here for me and for all your advice.