Weight Story and Stats

5’4”

CW: Not sure

GW: To be comfortable where I am

(HW: 145, LW: 103.8)

This is a weight story.

In 2008 I gained about 20 pounds while studying abroad - binging on galletas and nutella and Spanish wine.

A year and a half later, I’d lost most of the weight, but I struggled with binging and I’d started grad school and I didn't deal with it well. I developed a lot of disordered behaviors and I struggled with a diet that became too extreme. I lost my period, my BMI got dangerous and I was quite unhealthy. I had to go into treatment. Terribly, I felt good about it.

But that wasn’t the life I wanted. It was a big challenge for me, but I put some weight back on and improved my health but I couldn't give up disordered behavior. 

Now I’ve started to really understand the separation I’ve had to make between food and my stresses and boredom and all the other reasons we have to eat or restrict food irrespective of our real hunger. I still have weeks when ice cream and chocolate disappear and I beat myself up over it, but right now I'm not trying to lose weight anymore.

I'm learning to be comfortable the way I am.