Having a Drink

I've written before about alcohol intake - it's never been a problem for me but I think I have a very low threshold for worrying about it if that makes sense.

Or maybe it has been a problem and I've been in denial about it. It's sort of hard to tell. I didn't have a single bit of trouble not drinking during pregnancy or the initial months of breastfeeding with my baby and I know that's not the only criteria but I do find it reassuring.

I do have a drink most days but also don't find it hard not to. My care of my kid is never impaired. I usually try to follow American Heart Association guidelines for maximum intake.

I feel like I'm going a little crazy this week with it (not crazy, but just like I might have 2 drinks over the course of a day but separated by several hours.)

That's because I am sort of excited and sort of afraid that the next week is going to reveal that I'm pregnant and then it's another year of no drinking so I guess I'm trying to get a tiny little bit more in before that happens. I'm sure if I'm not pregnant I'll back off more.

Because I've been nursing for almost 15 months, and my kid literally just started sleeping through the night without nursing I haven't felt comfortable drinking more than 1 at a time or 2 if he was getting a pumped bottle. I've been tipsy exactly twice in his life and one was last night. I guess I feel like I didn't get a chance to really cut loose and now I might be expecting another. I'm definitely counting my babies before they implant or whatever but I don't know I just have a feeling.

My approach to drinking is so different this time too. I was completely off caffeine and wouldn't drink after I ovulated last time I was trying to get pregnant - so the whole second half of the cycle. This time I feel comfortable drinking until I have a positive test - the research on whether minimal to moderate intake affects fertility isn't very solid but I'm not trying trying - technically I'm "not trying not preventing."

My baby fever is definitely growing exponentially though. We'll see how I feel next cycle if I'm not currently pregnant. I'll know for sure by next Wednesday.

Thanks for letting me think about it and share.

Xoxo little birds