Start Again

It's winter and I like that. I like snow and the way it covers up all the parts of the world that don't look good and makes it feel like a fresh start.

It's been long enough since I last wrote that a proper update is in order.

I'm Erin.

I'm 27.

I work in healthcare with kids.

I'm married.

I have a dog but no kids of my own yet.

I've rarely met criteria for any particular eating disorder, so I've just been a nebulous EDNOS girl.

I intentionally write this blog anonymously because I like being able to share with a community like you without even thinking twice about how what I'm saying looks or if it's professional or if it's hurtful to the people in my real life.

I like to tell the truth, even it's behind a pretty screen.

So that's the deal. And now back to my usual format:

Intake
Avocado toast with tomatoes
Granola Bar
Potato Chips
Steamed vegetables and salad
Chocolate Muffin
Apple
Toast with jam
Veggie quesadilla
Sweet potato fries with BBQ sauce
Red wine - 2 glasses

Activity
I started to - and then I just didn't feel good. So I didn't.

Hydration
Tea and about 20 oz water, coffee and a diet pepsi

Thoughts
I've been living alone for the past month (to work an another hospital) and I only have a couple days left and I'm nervous in a way about going back to live with my husband. I'm mostly excited, but I also feel like I've developed some bad habits and I'm not sure if they're going to be easy or hard to break. I've been drinking probably 2 drinks a day and that's not healthy, I'm messy, not doing dishes, staying up super late watching TV and youtube etc. and then sleeping to the last possible moment in the morning, I am actually exercising more regularly than like back in December, but worse than January and February of this year. So we'll see - I just feel like I've been distracting my sadness instead of facing it and not taking good care of myself at all. Maybe I'll write another post with some ideas about changes I could start with.

xoxo little birds