Stranger

I went for a short run both yesterday and the day before and I feel like a complete stranger in my body. 

It's been several months since I last exercised regularly, I've put on 10 pounds in the past year. I feel wobblier, softer, weaker, I am sometimes startled by the sight of my thighs or the way my stomach rolls. If I guessed I would say it looks like I've put on even more than I have, some of which is probably because it's more fat and less muscle. 

I've been uncomfortable for a while and there's a large part of wardrobe I can't wear because it doesn't fit, but I felt it come to a caricature of weight gain yesterday while I was running. 

I was wearing a nice Lululemon running shirt but despite the cut and coverage I felt like the weight on my hips and stomach might wobble so hard it would stretch the rest if me, like taffy stretching and pulling and landing on the ground.

I'm riding in the car right now on my weekend trip so I have a moment to think and I guess I'm just worried because I've never successfully lost weight while actually eating enough. 

But these past few days I think I've been reasonable, listening to my hunger, getting active. I just want to keep being healthy and reasonable, in a way that allows me to go down 10 pounds back to a healthy happy weight for me. 

And I really don't want to count calories, but idk if I can both eat enough and not too much without it.

:/

Xoxo little birds

Friday

I had the day off today and was not as productive as I was hoping to be - I got less of my application for grant money and less of my research done than I wanted. 

I went shopping and got a super cute trendy outfit from Forever 21. Maybe I'll post a pic later, but I got some high waisted shorts and a loose crop top, which I haven't really embraced as a look yet, and it's cute.

Intake

Water/coffee

Smoothie

Quesadilla, apple

Larabar Uber

Mac & Squash

Beer x3 (it's Memorial Day weekend woo!)

Activity

25 min yoga/Pilates

25 min run with my dog

Hydration

42 oz water with squeezes of lemon

Thoughts

We're making a 6 hour drive tomorrow and visiting friends. I'm excited but also nervous because I feel like it'll be hard to eat healthy - ill bring a lot of snacks and try to be smart.

Advice for travel?

Xoxo little birds

Thursday

I don't know what to title these daily posts so I'm just going with the day of the week.

This morning when I got out of bed I had this sort of welty scratch on my leg and my first thought was "oh my gosh is that a sex injury?" But then I realized its equally possible I sustained it walking into the corner of my bed.

Intake

Water/coffee

Smoothie

Apple

Vegan quesadilla (yes 2 days in a row it's just so dang good), banana

Soy London Fog (like an earl grey tea latte)

3 carrots w/ hummus

Larabar Uber

Dinner out at a brewery: simple green salad with herb vinaigrette, roasted balsamic Brussels sprouts -amazing

Activity

25 min run

Few mins Pilates/strength

Hydration

I think I hit all the way to the magic 64 oz. today of water. 

Also no alcohol today. Not that it's so unusual to have a day without a drink, but I have had 1 on most days in the past couple weeks. When the weather turned hot I just felt like nothing sounded better than a beer in the early evening with the sun streaming in.

Thoughts

I felt weird about having the extra Larabar as a snack today because I kind of plan on 1-3 snacks but not more and that was a fourth. However, that snack limit is just supposed to give me a reasonable range so I don't get hungry between meals and since I had waited plenty of time from the previous snack and tried drinking 12 oz of water first, I felt it was a victory to make the choice to eat that since it was real hunger I was feeling. I was also super proud of getting out and running even though it was slow and not very far because I haven't gone in ages.

How was your day?

Xoxo little birds

Wednesday

I texted my man around noon today a little teaser about sex tonight and the anticipation made it that much better just now when we got to it.

Meanwhile, it was a decent day. I had work for the afternoon but had time in the morning. The management company for our house (we rent) sent someone out to switch over the heat to the cooling system and it's so much nicer in the house now with the cooler on.

Intake

Overnight oats

Iced coffee/flavored water

Vegan quesadilla, apple

Orange

Vegan chicken tenders, green beans, mashed potato/cauliflower

Beer x1

Activity

Dog walk

40 min yoga

Hydration

48ish oz. (3.5 x 12 oz mason jars + partially empty water bottle)

Thoughts

I did a real longer yoga session today than the 10 minute warmups I'd had time for last month and it felt awesome. I also feel really good about my food and proud of my hydration - though that was really tough I felt like I was constantly peeing today. It's always a balance. I feel like I made a good effort in all the areas that are important to me right now. I hope I can keep it going tomorrow.

Xoxo little birds

End of May Plan

I do best when I take my life in small portions. Thinking about doing anything "for the rest of my life" feels insane. There's no way I would ever succeed with that as an ideal. I am capable of taking things 1  minute to one day at a time. Not much more. Even monthly goals feel tough.

So realizing that, I want to make a plan just until the end of May - about 10 more days. 

Taking what I learned from my 7 Day Challenge, I'm trying to come up with something that's reasonable but with improvements based on where I've realized I am over the past week.

So...my End of May Happiness Plan

1. Food: 3 meals + 1-3 snacks per day. Clean vegan food. For now, no desserts, but plenty of fruit.

2. Activity: 10 minutes minimum every day. The activity doesn't matter, but my usual walk to work doesn't count.

3. Hydration: Still going for 48 oz. per day. 

4. Free Time: The man and I had a convo about watching too much TV and the truth is it's way too much. I want to read more, study a bit, do something creative (including blogging) with more of my time.

And...post every day if I can, because you and your comments and ears (eyes I guess if we're being technical) help me.

Xoxo little birds

Day 7

Intake

Overnight oats

Larabar

Salad

Watermelon

Beer x2

Quinoa stir fry

Popcorn

Activity

Walk to work

Hydration

30ish oz.? No less. Oops

Thoughts

It's the final day of this challenge. I did pretty poor. Didn't hydrate well. But I wrote every day and I'm proud of that. I'm exhausted, good night.

Day 6

Intake

Overnight oats

Larabar

Glass wine

Pita, hummus, tabbouleh

Watermelon

Potato/cauliflower

Probs something else before I brush my teeth

Activity

Walk to work

Water

? I really don't know. 30ish oz.

Thoughts

I didn't have a chance to eat all day, had a Larabar, and then went to an event where there was significantly less food than I expected. So I'm finally eating my first real meal at 930. I'm so tired and I have to be at work at 7.

Xoxo little birds